Prime Time
A blog for older Americans and their families to help them make the most of their prime retirement years, age well, and enjoy life
When Home for the Holidays Takes an Unexpected Turn
Going home for a holiday visit can be wonderful—but it can also be eye-opening for adult children of aging parents, and not always in a good way.
I recently heard the following story from a work colleague. I bet it sounds familiar.
During her annual Christmastime visit, my friend realized that her once fiercely independent parents were suddenly overwhelmed by the challenges of aging in their large home. Her parents, both in their 80s, struggled to manage household chores, had become isolated from friends and neighbors, forgot to pay bills, and found it increasingly difficult to climb stairs and safely navigate the bathroom.
Even worse, she lives more than 200 miles away.
She felt stuck, weighed down by questions that plagued her:
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Do I focus on their independence or their safety?
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Do I put my life on hold and become their full-time caregiver?
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Do I hire a local caregiver and stretch my already tight budget, or dip into Mom and Dad’s retirement savings?
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Do I take control of their lives or hope for the best?
The answer, of course, is none of the above.
A few basic, positive steps can reassure the entire family while putting sound, sensible plans in place:
Talk Early and Often
Don’t wait for a crisis to find out what your parents want and how adult children can help.
Be Honest Without Passing Judgment
This is not the time to tell Mom that her crowd-pleasing meatloaf has lost its culinary magic. It is the time to talk about driving, doctor visits, medication schedules, and finances.
Work Things Out Together
Find common ground, be open about financial and timing realities, and share decision-making about next steps.
Take the Initiative
Resolve big decisions now to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings later. Nail down the details of power of attorney, health care proxy, end-of-life wishes, wills, estate planning, and more.
Get Help
No one—no matter how proactive or organized—can manage today’s life changes or anticipate the future alone.
Even with these proactive steps, aging parents can’t always safely remain in their homes. When that happens, transitions and relocations may become inevitable. That’s when trustworthy, respectful, and professional help matter most.
White Glove Solution is a senior move management company that helps older Americans age in place or relocate to a new home—always emphasizing safety, comfort, and familiarity from start to finish.
We’re here to help you get started, and we believe in transparency. If we’re not the right fit for you, we’ll say so. And if you’re not the right fit for us, we’ll say that too.
Contact us today for your free consultation. We can help. And really … what have you got to lose, except those 3 a.m. stare-at-the-ceiling-and-worry moments?